I begin

Stretching sluggish limbs into corners of my cozy cocoon,

first cognizant thoughts of the day are a little jumbled,

tangly like my hair.

This morning one thought comes into focus and clears a path through the haze of first awakening blur…

I am God’s beloved.

I’m a little surprised at first, I haven’t done anything yet!

I don’t even have a list of my goals scribed for the day.

I certainly don’t appear put together -

No makeup

Matted hair

Bad breath

Worn and rumply t-shirt

Nonetheless an impression of Divine, approving love begins deep within and travels outward until it’s wrapped around me like my blankets, warm and comforting.

I begin this day beloved.

My second awareness is my dry mouth.

I am thirsty.

Reaching for the cup always near my bed, my tongue welcomes sweet, tepid water - relief from eight hours without.

I tip it’s rim just before I lay my head each night, yet every morning I am foremost reminded of my need for more.

Left to rote I tend to ignore thirst and only when parched and withering, reach for water.

This morning thirst is a gift of reminder, that my spirit yearns for God before all else.

I begin this day thirsty.

Just as these initial impressions of being loved and being thirsty start my morning, I consider how I will begin this new year, only four sleeps away.

My last sip late in 2019 will not satisfy my thirst early in 2020. 

I will need to be re-quenched. 

And as I begin a new year with nothing accomplished - only dreams, desires and intentions -  yet deeply loved, completely enough and fully accepted, THIS -being His beloved- it quenches that quotidian thirst.

THIS fills me to the brim. He is my source of life and sustenance.

I stretch dry towards the new year and relish in this overflow of Love.

Taking deep breaths I sense spirit, soul, and body taking in God’s love and every chamber is filled.  Quenched.

My lists and intentions for this new year will take shape and find space to occupy paper and hopefully my actual life, but I will move from His love filling me each morning, before any effort or performance. 

Loved in my first, rumpled, messy moments.

I begin this year as I begin each day,

I begin beloved and I begin thirsty.

“Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust.”

Psalm 143:8 (ESV)

“And God-Enthroned spoke to me and said, “Consider this! I am making everything to be new and fresh. Write down at once all that I have told you, because each word is trustworthy and dependable.” 6 Then he said to me, “It has been accomplished! For I am the Aleph and the Tav, the beginning and the end. I will give water to all who are thirsty. As my gracious gift, they will continuously drink from the fountain of living water.” Revelation 21:5-6 (Passion Translation NT)